SUPERMAN / Kemco / NES
 
 
The Adventures of Chibi Clark Kent here reminds me an awful lot of the cutesification of Star Wars by Namco ... except that one was kinda a fun platformer and this one is just weird sloppy nonsense.
 


You start as Clark in the safe confines of the Daily Planet ... apparently the only place in the city not overrun by psycho gangsters who shoot at everything that moves. To actually turn into Superman, you have to find a phone booth to duck into outside. But this doesn't really give you much of an advantage over being Clark Kent! Neither character can fly, but they both do an extra-high jump by pressing Up, then can kind of hover indefinitely back to Earth by spamming the super-short-range punch attack? Erm.
 


So once you're Superman, if you mash buttons a bit you soon discover you have a sub-menu of selectable super powers that each have an energy bar, like Mega Man's weapons! Cool! Finally! Powers in a Superman game! Er, wait ... do any of these actually DO anything? X-ray vision is apparently only used in one specific area where you have to fight otherwise invisible ghosts or something. Don't try to use it to ogle Lois's squished pixely body (or Jimmy's). "Flight" will get you excited initially, then you use it and you realize all it is is a teleport to another point on the subway map ... wow, Superman has the same power as anyone with a metro card. Heat Vision is weak, but at least it gives you a little bit more range than your bizarre fist-twitch attack. Then there's some Spin and Breath attacks that somehow seem to be even more useless than your crappy punch.
 


They appear to have been going for a non-linear exploratory thing kinda similar to Castlevania II, Goonies, Rygar, etc. ... except nobody involved seemed to have any idea what they were doing. They couldn't even figure out how to maintain the current background when popping up a dialogue box when you talk to characters ... fortunately it doesn't seem you ever actually need to talk to anybody, just blunder about the available areas until you stumble into the boss, then probably get waxed because Superman is so floaty and janky to control.
 
 
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