FIELD COMBAT / Jaleco / NES
In this arcade-style shooting game, you play as a huge UFO blowing up Earth armies.
It's kind of a clone of Xevious ... you can shoot missiles at your foes, but you gain bonus points by sucking them aboard for anal probes using your tractor beam.
Despite the goofy concept, it's pretty boring. The really sucky thing is that you have no defense against the airborne enemies that come at you, so you have to kind of just dodge around them and hope they don't charge you too aggressively.
Another Japan-only oddity that we won't be heartbroken to not see ported to the West.