URBAN YETI / Telegames Inc. / Gameboy Advance


Urban Yeti is mystifying to me. It was published by some fly-by-night company no one has ever heard of before, sure, but I can't fathom how ANYBODY could actually get the money together to put something like this in retail stores.

The game is sort of the Special Needs crossbreed of the original 2D Grand Theft Auto games and Rampage. You play as some Yeti who has decided he wants a nice yuppie lifestyle, with a mate and a city apartment and all of that. Undeterred by the complete impossibility of it all, he begins his quest by stomping into some random city to first find a female Yeti.

The city dwellers show no fear of the Yeti however, and for good reason, seeing as his durability is a joke and his movement is clumsy. There's no way to move about without being attacked constantly by every other moving object on the map - cars, birds, rats, kids on skateboards, ladies charging after you to hit you with their purses, bums, and cops firing guns at you. Yeti only has a clunky punch to defend himself with, which tosses his foes into the air in crappy Mode 7 style, and leads to some lulz when you punch a skater kid or woman and leave them lying gruesomely broken in the street.

There is no map, just an occasional arrow that pops up to give you a vague clue as to what direction you are supposed to be heading in. As the game opens up, you hear a Yeti scream off in the distance, but it is coming from across a toll bridge, which costs $4 to cross. Instead of just smashing through like he's smashing up the rest of the city, Yeti decides he has to find a paper and get a part-time job to earn the bucks to get across. Yeah, seriously. I can't tell you much more than that, because the terrible gameplay, ugly graphics and annoying music drove me away before I got any further.

Oh, and there's one other bizarro touch that's worth mentioning - when the Yeti gets killed, you go into Yeti-cam mode, which follows the victorious killer around the city as they celebrate their win. For example if it is a car that runs the Yeti over, it continues to drive around the city in GTA style running people over and smashing into things for no apparent reason.

The concept is actually kind of original and funny, and it could have worked if the designers had put a little more effort into it. Make it more like the original GTA games, for example, where the Yeti steals some street clothes to start off, and nobody really bugs him until he starts causing mayhem. Have him go on various missions, maybe even let him jack cars for bonus good times. Instead of doing that, however, the designers went the lazy/underfunded route, and just pumped out some halfassed shit that looks like somebody's first amateur project in Game Maker. Too bad Urban Yeti, but as you are, you suck tremendously.



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