12 / 29 / 2013
 
Ready to feel old? Super Metroid (SNES, 5/5) will celebrate its 20th anniversary in 2014.
 
That's a rewrite, but this isn't - Space Rogue (PC, 3/5) is from 1989 and an early game produced by Warren Spector (Mr. Deus Ex), and its designer Paul Neurath would go on to found Looking Glass Studios. For the whippersnappers, it's like a primitive Eve Online. For the approaching middle agers, it's like a primitive Wing Commander: Privateer. And for the true oldheads, it's like a more sophisticated version of Elite.
 
That's it for 2013, see you next year with a clean news page.
 
12 / 22 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Die Hard is our horriday tradition around here and this year we've got probably the two most obscure games based on the franchise - the PC version created by Dynamix (2/5) and the Turbografx 16 version (2/5) released only in Japan.
 
We understand that not everyone is a fan of the 80s action movies however, and here at Plato's Cavern we support alternative lifestyles. So for more conventional Xmas fare please enjoy some Daze Before Christmas (Genesis, 3/5). This is a platformer that looks like a beta but may or may not have actually been released in Australia at some point. I'm still not sure. But it turns out to be surprisingly good!
 
12 / 16 / 2013
 
Wandering the West and wandering the wastes today with The Lone Ranger (NES, 2/5) and Fallout 3 (PC, 4/5)
 
12 / 11 / 2013
 
The 3D Battles of Worldrunner (NES, 3/5) is interesting for a couple of reasons - it's an early example of fairly well done sprite scaling on an 8-bit console (complete with a 3D glasses mode), and its an early release from Squaresoft before they became the RPG Kingpins and were still kind of tossing different genres at the wall to see what would stick.
 
On the rewrite front we've got City Connection (NES, 1/5).
 
12 / 5 / 2013
 
After a long, sloggy RPG there's no tonic like some brainless driving and shooting action. So I turned to the GTA series ... but unfortunately we've covered most of these already and now I'm kinda getting down to the dregs. That would be Vice City Stories (PSP, 3/5) and GTA Advance (GBA, 2/5) ... they're both okay-ish, I guess, but no better than that. GTA IV alone might slag my laptop let alone GTA V though, so ...
 
11 / 29 / 2013
 
 
 
Dragon Warrior III (NES, 3/5), in which after failing miserably at forming a balanced party in the previous game, Enix throws up their hands in exasperation and says "OK player, YOU do it then."
 
Also, Bookworm (GBA, 2/5) from Popcap. I know I know, Popcap, but this particular game is actually pretty good. The 2/5 is for a bad port, as the GBA version really offers nothing more than the limited free version at their website does. Other portable versions of the game are actually worth checking out.
 
And I've been promising re-writes of short/crappy reviews for some time now, and we have one today - Revenge of Shinobi (Genesis, 3/5.) Score doesn't change, just Moar Words.
 
11 / 15 / 2013
 
State of the Site Address!
 
Updates have been relatively few and far between since the summer. I graduated college in May and have to actually Work A Lot like an Actual Adult now, so that's part of it. But I've also been mostly working as a writer, and aside from eating into gaming time, it's also eating into my desire to write after hours.
 
The site is far from abandoned, though. I'm about to pay to renew it for another year here at the end of the month, and we have some new affiliates and such coming in that may actually enable me to make a few bucks off this 1000+ pages of content sitting here. I expect things to stabilize and to have more free time once we roll over into 2014 as well.
 
In the near future, I've been sneaking Dragon Warrior III in on the PSP on commutes, so that's right around the corner. Also working on a couple of Sekrit Projects. Got some long-overdue resolutions for 2014 too, like finally adding a Sega Saturn section. In sum, keep it tuned to KPLTO FM for all your easy favorites to help you make it through your work day.
 
10 / 28 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The Ultimate Warrior is undead, and he's pissed! Time for the obligatory themed HellOooOOOooOOOween update, this year with a couple of PC obscurities. Dont Go Alone (2/5) was Accolade's attempt to do a horror-RPG in the style of dungeon crawls like Eye of the Beholder. Darkseed (2/5) WAS an obscure adventure, but has become a bit ... uh ... notorious in classic gaming circles in recent years. Most noteworthy for having a license to use H.R. Giger's artwork.
 
10 / 17 /  2013
 
I wonder how many kids in the early 1990s tried to skip out on reading The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (NES, 1/5) by using this game as a reference instead. Probably a lot of baffled English teachers out there wondering why kids keep thinking Injun Joe rode a dinosaur.
 
Our other NES janky platformer Adventures Of obscurity today is The Adventures of Rad Gravity (2/5).
 
10 / 2 / 2013
 
I got all Covetous of a portable version of Uncharted Waters 2, so I tried out the Genesis port on the PSP ... worked out pretty well! (4/5)
 
9 / 28 / 2013
 
Suddenly .... rasslin'. Two somewhat obscure Genesis titles today, WWF Royal Rumble (2/5) and Wrestle War (2/5).
 
9 / 24 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
IwannabeIwannabeIwannabe like Mike ... if I could be like Mike I would not have rocked a Hitler mustache, or signed off on Chaos In The Windy City (SNES, 2/5).
 
Rounding out today's theme of "weird platformers from the 16-bit era" is Normy's Beach Babe-O-Rama (Genesis, 2/5).
 
9 / 22 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Well, congratulations Dragon Warrior II (NES, 2/5). You broke me. I sunk 20 hours in only to quit at the very end because your final area is complete and utter bullshit.
 
Gonna need a long break before Dragon Warrior III.
 
9 / 15 / 2013
 
"Can FONDLER'S team count on his glove?" The MLB playoffs are looming (and my team is competitive for the first time in two decades!), so I got in the mood to look for some reliable PSP baseball action to take up residence on my memory stick.
 
Today's experiments are The Bigs (PSP, 3/5), 2K Games' simpler and more arcadey alternative to their MLB 2K games, and Tecmo Baseball (2/5), one of Tecmo's forgotten sports games for the NES (really, any Tecmo sports game not called Tecmo Super Bowl is forgotten.)
 
9 / 8 / 2013
 
Just been takin' care and tempting not The Fates around here.
 
So a few months ago, as I was going through the whole site pulling out the old ad code and generally cleaning stuff up, I also made a list of game reviews I felt were kind of half-rate and could stand to be re-reviewed. Among that list was pretty much the entire Dragon Warrior/Quest series, the first six of which I felt I might not have been entirely fair and thorough to due simply to the sheer amount of grinding they tend to require.
 
Welp, as it turns out I have a much higher tolerance for grindy games on long bus rides, and NES emulation is near-perfect on the PSP, so I've decided to at the very least give I - IV another go, and make my best effort (no promises here!) to play all the way through them. We're kicking it off today with Dragon Warrior (3/5), but these aren't gonna be all back-to-back, as I'd get burned out pretty fast. I already feel exhausted just from finishing the first one!
 
Also, for some variety, Flakboy (2/5), some random Flash game about shooting hell out of some innocent little alien.
 
8 / 30 / 2013
 
A grabastic assortment of PSP stuff today ... Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories (3/5), and two Minis, Zombie Racers (2/5) and Zombie Tycoon (2/5). IRL really not being favorable to my gaming schedule right now. Damn u post college life.
 
8 / 24 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
"She's a stinky-fingered felcher, from Berlin down to Belize!" The Sega Genesis port of Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? (4/5) comes off pretty damn well. The other thing today is Monster Hunter: Freedom for PSP (2/5), just because that's the only other thing I had even close to ready and it's been 10 days since last update. It's the PSP port of the very first of the Monster Hunter games.
 
8 / 13 / 2013
 
Just poppin' in from hyperspace with a Mass Effect 2 review (PC, 5/5)
 
8 / 3 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
So generally on this site, I avoid reviewing soccer games, as I know nothing about the sport and can't break them down in useful detail like I can with hockey, football or baseball games. I make exceptions for simplified, arcadey titles though, like your Mario Strikers and Mega Man Soccers. XS Junior League Soccer (PS1, 2/5) is in that general mold, just not as good.
 
And then there's Soccer-RPGs, which are an actual thing. The genesis of this oddball genre seems to be the Captain Tsubasa series, about which I've actually been curious for years, but never got around to trying any. Tecmo Cup Soccer Game (NES, 2/5) is Tecmo's "Westernization" of the first Tsubasa game ... as the Japanese original has never been fan-translated to my knowledge, however, this is the version us roundeye gaijin are stuck with for now. However, Captain Tsubasa II (NES, 3/5) never made it out of Japan, but HAS been fan translated, by ROM hacker hayabusakun.
 
7 / 22 / 2013
 
Wild Arms (2/5) and Wild Arms 2 (2/5), two obscure JRPGs for the original Playstation.
 
7 / 16 / 2013
 
Ehhh ... more Indie Puzzle Platformers. I need to hire someone to just stand around here, and if they see me about to buy another indie bundle just whack me with a board or something. 
 
Snapshot (2/5) and Closure (2/5), both PC download-only. Snapshot is Cute Little Robit on unexplained adventure through colorful world, Closure is Blind Spider Thing on unexplained adventure through dark world. Both similar in that their insistence on being finicky and making you re-do the same puzzle shit over and over and over if you slip just a little bit in the platforming element is what kills them.
 
 
7 / 14 / 2013
 
 
That's one doomed Space Marine! I grabbed Doom 3 (3/5) on a Steam sale and figured, hey, now's the time to add Doom 2 (4/5) for completeness. Both the original PC versions.
 
7 / 3 / 2013
 
Cleaning up the last of the portables I brought on my June trip today. Thexder Neo (2/5) is an out-of-nowhere remake of the obscure MSX/PC game Thexder from like 25 years ago. Downloadable for PSP and PS3. And the last two games for Android for now, Metal Slug 3 (2/5) and Raiden Legacy (2/5). Both arcade ports ... Raiden Legacy is actually a collection of the first four Raiden games. They're actually all quite good ports, the 2/5 is just due to how awful it is trying to play fast-action arcade games where you die in one hit with touch controls. You could probably bump them up to 4/5 if you play with a gamepad or joystick dock of some sort, but since those are optional accessories that most people don't have and defeat the whole "portability" aspect of it, 2/5 all around.
 
7 / 2 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Over the last few months I've been slowly scraping out/replacing the defunct Google Adsense code from the site ... I'm very happy to report that that's finally done! You shouldn't see any more of those janky "broken Javascript" icons on pages, but more importantly, Google shouldn't be trying to serve their tracking shit through this site anymore.
 
Currently we're serving ads from Amazon, Play-Asia and JList. All of those are direct deals with those sites with no middleman, so there should be next to 0 chance of their ads serving malware, and I'm not aware of any egregious tracking/spyware issues with them. Of course, if there is a problem, let me know. I'm not married to any particular advertising on this site, none of them pay shit anyway.
 
6 / 27 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Now back to our regularly scheduled disappointment, negativity, elitism and taking a dump on the struggling little guy. It's my lifestyle.

3 more portable titles today with Where Is My Heart? (2/5) and The Legend of Heroes: Tear of Vermillion (2/5) for PSP. The former is one of those indie Mini games that indie blogs are like "OH GOD THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND IMPORTANT WHAT AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE!!! GAMES AS FART!", and then you play it and are like "Jesus indie bloggers, what the fuck." The latter I think was actually the first RPG released for PSP and uh ... it shows. It's actually a port of a 1996 PC Engine game; the original game wasn't the strongest to begin with and the localization is pretty slapdash. Oh, and there's Contre Jour (2/5) for Android ... more like CONTRE SNORE hyuck hyuck hyuck hyuck
 
6 / 23 / 2013
 
Alright, we're back! And the News page gets a nice summer haircut. Old news is archived down that way (v), as usual. 
 
Also debuting the new Android section, with inaugural games Anomaly Korea (3/5) and Plants vs Zombies (3/5). Similar in that they're both slick and well-made, but pitched firmly at the "casual" market, and probably a little too easy and insubstantial for longtime gamers.
 
 
 
 
5 / 30 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Alrighty, Mass Effect (PC, 3/5). I'm out (*drops microphone like a giant doucher*)
 
5 / 27 / 2013
 
Alright, possible last update until my long vacay/house hunt/moving trip here at the end of the month, unless I can chaw through the rest of Mass Effect before then. I'll have my trusty old PSP and a tablet with me on the trip, but I dunno if/how many updates to the site I'll get into. 
 
For now, two of 2010's biggest releases for the PSP: Ys 7 (3/5) and The 3rd Birthday (2/5). Both long-delayed conclusions to their franchises that could have been better.
 
5 / 23 / 2013
 
Alright, last of the casino games for awhile, promise. Both for PSP today. Payout Poker & Casino (2/5), and Hard Rock Casino (2/5). Both collections covering all the major casino games, both with similar design problems.
 
5 / 18 / 2013
 
Whew! Still a lot of work to close out the month, but I need at least a Saturday morning here to loaf without stress. 
 
Today's update is like you're at Circus Circus, and you're finally taking a break from your hours-long gambling binge to check on the kids in the play area, hoping a dirty trucker hasn't absconded with them. I'm actually not sure Offspring Fling (PC, 3/5) was pitched at kids, but it's cutesy and on the whole the difficulty is low. Spyro the Dragon (PS1, 4/5) definitely was aimed at kids, but it's made so well it's got some value for adults as well.
 
5 / 9 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Managed to cobble together one more update in bits and peices here ... this is probably it until at least the 20th though. Today we continue gamebling our lives away in 90s casinos with Caesar's Palace (1/5) for NES and the follow-up Caesar's Palace (1/5) for Genesis. Also, Casino Kid (2/5) and Casino Kid 2 (2/5) for NES, the cutesy Japanese take on problem gambling.
 
 
5 / 4 / 2013
 
Scanty updates on the horizon for awhile ... incredibly busy final semester of school to close out May, then immediately going on long vacation after that, then immediately moving house after that! Will be sporadic updates through the end of June, though. Today we're getting Midway Arcade Treasures 3 (3/5) for Gamecube logged in, a collection of Atari and Midway's bigger racing games from 1989 to 1999. Also beginning an exploration of portable casino games (via emulation today) with Blackjack (2/5) for NES, which delivers exactly what the title promises and nothing more.
 
4 / 23 / 2013
 
Today, two Atari racers that were huge in the arcades in 1989, but have been almost totally forgotten at this point except by the most dedicated of nerds. Probably undeservedly forgotten, as they were both important in their own way. S.T.U.N. Runner (4/5) is a futuristic magnet-car racer that the F-Zero and Wipeout franchises probably owe a big debt of gratitude to at the very least. Badlands (3/5) isn't the weird Konami Laserdisc game that was done by the G.I. Joe animators, but the Atari racing game set in a Mad Max-esque dystopia. It's part of the lineage of top-down racers starting with Super Sprint, but the fusion of weaponry in the mix here puts it in the company of games like R.C. Pro-Am, Cobra Triangle and Rock N' Roll Racing.
 
4 / 20 / 2013
 
 
Trying to return to some sense of normalcy here after this crazy week. How about some superhero games? X-Men Legends (Gamecube, 2/5) attempts to fuse beat-em-up with RPG, which can certainly be a good thing, but here doesn't work out. I think mostly due to production values. Wolverine: Adamantium Rage (SNES, 0/5), on the other hand, is indefensible.
 
4 / 12 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Snoopy/Peanuts games seem to be seriously underlooked. There aren't very many of them, but when one shows up the license seems to get treated with a lot of respect, and the final product is actually something polished and enjoyable. Cases in point - Snoopy vs the Red Baron (4/5), a fun Starfox 64-esque air combat game for PSP, and Snoopy Concert (3/5), a neat collection of mouse-based mini-games for the SNES.
 
4 / 5 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
This update contains scenes of explicit gore and violence.
 
If you were a teen/adult when the Resident Evil games first came out, you probably remember the general attitude toward them taken by your more "hardcore" gamers was that they were dumbed-down, pandering AAA tripe ... flash forward 15 years, and AAA tripe is so pandering and linear that people now look back at these games as some sort of "authentic" and "hardcore" experience. Welp.
 
That's the running theme of this otherwise pointless update, which covers the original trilogy for the original Playstation - Resident Evil: Director's Cut (3/5), Resident Evil 2 (3/5), and Resident Evil 3 (2/5). Perhaps they will be of use to future archaeologists, historians and aliens.
 
 
 
3 / 28 / 2013
 
JRPGs for PC, who knew. Ys Origin (3/5) is a prequel/"origin story" type of deal for the Ys series, same gameplay as the more recent Ys games but no Adolph Crispin this time out. Penny Arcade Adventures, Episode 3 (3/5) is by Zeboyd Games and plays almost exactly like Cthulhu Saves the World and Breath of Death VII, if you dug those.
 
3 / 22 / 2013
 
Ah, spring ... the time when a young man's fancy turns to XTREEEEME SPORTS!!!
 
 
ESPN Extreme Games was a launch title for the PS1 here in North America, but after a year or two was renamed to 1xtreme (2/5) as the ESPN license ran out. Like sequel 2xtreme (2/5), it's a free-for-all racer in the vein of Road Rash rather than the collection of individual games you might expect. There's a 3xtreme, but that's too much Xtreme for me all in one go, we'll save it for another time. Instead - Chester Cheetah: Too Cool To Fool (SNES, 1/5), from the flourescent orange kitty's more extreme days.
 
3 / 16 / 2013
 
Save me from that bruddy de de de! Today's loose theme is - games where regular people get sucked into some demon world, and have to use a combination of archaic weapons, modern military hardware, and magic to fight 'em off. And we've got Persona: Revelations (3/5), the remake of Persona 1 for PSP, and Devil World (2/5), an arcade game from Konami that was meant to be a Gauntlet-killer back in 1987 but fell into obscurity instead.
 
3 / 11 / 2013
 
 
 
I really don't hate Peter Molyneux, I just thought this was funny. Fable: The Lost Chapters (2/5) is underwhelming, though. So is Prince of Persia (2008) (2/5), despite being one of the prettiest games ever. Both for PC.
 
3 / 6 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Oh hai there NES. Shatterhand (2/5) is one of those obscure platformers that you see getting Ballyhooed here and there, I wasn't impressed with it though. Snake's Revenge (1/5) is Konami's inexplicable port of Metal Gear 2 to the NES.
 
3 / 1 / 2013
 
Finally clearing all the THPoo out of our system with Warhammer 40K: Dawn of War (3/5). Wherein the RTS genre rips off Warhammer aesthetically and conceptually for years, then Warhammer finally shows up in PC gaming and rips off the genre gameplay conventions of those same RTS.
 
Actually, that's not totally accurate, because there's also Space Hulk (2/5) from 1993, which I believe was the first Warhammer 40K game, and predates most of the major RTS offenders. However, it's not an RTS, but kind of a bizarre fusion of FPS and strategy. Actually not a bad idea but I think 1993 was a little too early for it to really work.
 
Anyway, both games for PC.
 
2 / 27 / 2013
 
I think we need a break from the THPoo games here ... at least I do anyway. So, back to the SNES today with Dossun! Stone Battle (3/5), a decent but very samey clone of competitive "shit keeps falling" 2-player battlers like Magical Drop, Columns 3, etc. But then ... forget the gruesome deaths in the new Tomb Raider, they've got nothing on watching a goat lower his smelly goat asshole onto your face after he bites you to death in Super Noah's Ark 3D! (0/5)
 
 
2 / 23 / 2013
 
Back to Erf and to ancient Greece today with Titan Quest (2/5, PC), a Diablo clone, and The Battle of Olympus (3/5, NES), a Zelda II clone that I actually thought was a little better than Zelda II.
 
2 / 18 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
From Big Red Machine to Big Red Planet. Exploring THQ's flagship FPS franchise today with Red Faction (3/5, PS2) and Red Faction: Armageddon (2/5, PC)
 
2 / 16 / 2013
 
 
Let's rocket to Russia! In honor of ... uh ... meteorites or something, we look at games set in the Motherland. Metro 2033 (3/5) for PC is kinda like if you took STALKER and made it more of a linear Dudebro sort of shooter. Then we've got the whole Rush N' Attack family. There's of course Rush N' Attack (2/5) for the NES, but also Green Beret (3/5), which was actually the original release of the game for arcades. Then there's MIA (2/5), the arcade-only sequel. Das vidanya!
 
 
2 / 14 / 2013
 
Sup lonelyhearts. Let's ignore any other thing that might possibly be happening today and go off the beaten path a bit. I am happy to report the Badass Platforming spirit is alive and well with Maldita Castilla (4/5), a freeware game released a few months ago, and intentionally designed to capture the spirit of a dark-tinged 1980s arcade sidescroller. And does a magnificent job. And free! Castelian (0/5), for the NES ... does not fare as well.
 
2 / 10 / 2013
 
Today's theme - mashing the X button an awful lot. Warriors Orochi (3/5), a member of the Musou (Dynasty Warriors + spinoffs) family, and Darksiders (2/5), which according to some morons, is "like Zelda BUT BETTER."
 
2 / 7 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I didn't really intend for today's update to have a theme, but it turns out there is one - games based around gunplay that are otherwise satisfying, but seriously diminished by an overreliance on bullet-sponge enemies. Saint's Row: The Third (3/5) for PC, and Darkwatch (2/5), a horror-themed FPS for PS2.
 
2 / 2 / 2013
 
Today, Dungeon Defenders (3/5) for PC and MediEvil (2/5) for le original Playstation. Former is "tower defense" interestingly fused with action and RPG elements, but then Tedious'd right back up with shit tons of mandatory grinding. Latter is a launch title for the PS1 and a Tim Burton-esque platformer, gained a good following back in the day but really hasn't held up well.
 
1 / 31 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
OK, so here's the issue - you know those handy menus on the left over there < ? At present I can't change them from the default one you see on this page. So new reviews from this point forward are stuck with the wrong menus, until such time as I can replace them ... everything else seems to be working fine though. Talkspot swooped in with another random "service improvement" to make their tools more "user friendly" ... and as usual broke some existing thing that was working perfectly well as it was. We've been down this road many times now, what will happen is we'll hobble along with the glitch for somewhere between 2 to 6 weeks, then it'll get fixed at some unspecified point. This isn't too much of a Talkspot slam by the way, on the whole their tools have really improved after a somewhat rocky period of a couple of years there. Still subject to questionable "upgrades" out of the blue apparently, though.
 
While we're on the subject of site problems - we're beefing with Google now. They yanked my Adsense account out of the blue, claiming our reviews of the Doki Doki "witch-touching" games for the DS (which were originally posted like 3 years ago) violate their "adult content" policy. They really didn't, but upon appeal, they upheld the decision for reasons they refuse to specify, because trying to communicate with Google is like trying to talk to Robocop. I suspect it's because I cussed too much in the Duke Nukem review. I don't know why I'm posting all this, except that people enjoy drama maybe? Also, if you plan to monetize your site using Adsense, be aware that if it's anything more ribald than the WOW I LOVE DISNEY AND WHOLESOME CORPORATE ENTERTAINMENT site, they'll probably ignore you for two or three years until one of their Creeperbots flags you based on keywords, then your account gets pulled because some overpaid Silicon Valley yuppie kid has to look like he's actually doing real work, or some closet pedophile is upset you slammed pedophiles, or something like that. Fair warning. We were lucky to see like $3 a month from their garbage inexplicable Mexican macaroni and cheese ads they were displaying anyway, so I just cashed out what we already made and told them to go eat the veritable smorgasbord of dicks they have available at their fine opulent cafeteria in sunny Mountain View.
 
Oh, right, there was an update. We're hanging out in the 90s a bit longer since I picked up the Quest For Glory Anthology on GOG.com over the holidays for 2.50. The main reason was to give Quest For Glory V (2/5) another tilt, but I also added Quest For Glory 2 (5/5) for completeness' sake. That polishes off the backlog of stuff played in 2012! Now onward to 2013's already-formidable pile.
 
1 / 27 / 2013
 
Some site technical glitchiness + starting back to school tomorrow = probably no updates until the coming weekend. I think the site is fully functional tho. Appears to be anyway. Let me know if it isn't.
 
1 / 22 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
First you nuke 'em ... then you gotta deal with the fallout! Tripping back to the mid-90s today with Fallout (4/5) and Duke Nukem 3D (3/5). Both for PC.
 
1 / 19 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Aside from being fantasy and swordy, today's two games surprisingly share something else - balancing their hacky-slashy action nature with complex inventory management and alchemical systems! And RPG elements too, I guess. The Witcher 2 (4/5) for PC, and Odin Sphere (3/5) for PS2 (and downloadable on PS3 via PSN)
 
1 / 17 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Let's dig up a long-dead horse and kick it repeatedly today with reeeee-view of Final Fantasy 8 (2/5) and Final Fantasy 9 (3/5). Whatever Gaming Hive Mind there is seems to have decided in recent years that FF9 is actually a great game, one of the best of the series and everyone should love it. I played it through back in 2000 and didn't really like it then (was literally snowed in and it was all I had) ... I played it again nearly 12 years to the day and I still don't really like it, pretty much for the same reasons.
 
1 / 14 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Alright, last of the odds-n-ends days. Then we go back to the stupid themed updates. 
 
Two of Atari's forgotten arcade classics - Klax (3/5), one of the more popular of the "shit keeps falling" oeuvure of the late 80s/early 90s, and A.P.B. (3/5), a colorful and creative but also over-difficult cop game. Then! Two for the PSP - King of Pool (2/5), a mediocre downloadable pool/billiards title, and Power Stone Collection (3/5). These are wild multiplayer brawlers which were amazing on Dreamcast ... I can't fault the port quality here, but for a game that relied almost solely on multiplayer for its appeal, the PSP is about the most terrible platform to be on right now.
 
 
 
1 / 12 / 2013
 
More odds-n-ends today that were just sitting around half-finished. Three NES games - 8 Eyes (1/5), an unsuccessful attempt to blend Mega Man and Castlevania, Chaos World (2/5), a very generic JRPG, and Godzilla: Monster of Monsters (0/5), the worst Godzilla game and maybe even the worst NES game. It's bad enough to compete. Then there's also Zeno Clash (3/5) for PC - somewhat rough and uneven, but an interesting use of the Source engine to create a beat-em-up of all things, and one set in a very unique world. Creative game all around. Worth checking out on sale.
 
The end of the backlog is in sight! Well ... the 2012 backlog of games that I already played and took notes on or partially reviewed. Not the 2013 backlog of games I bought on the holiday sales and haven't touched yet. That's tomorrow's problems, though!
 
 
1 / 10 / 2013
 
Alright, pushing hard to clear up this backlog completely while I'm still on vacation. Today - games in SPAAAAAACE (/echo). Accele Brid (0/5) is this weird Mode 7/Giant Robo game for the SNES that I assume was trying to trade solely off of tech gimmickry, because I have no idea how any QA department sat down with this and decided it was fun to play. Star Fox 2 (NR) is a game I've wanted to play forever, but could never find a good explanation as to which one of the 50,000 dumps of it is the "most complete" one and also takes the Aeon Genesis English translation patch. Finally sorted that out, though, obviously. NR due to being an unreleased beta, but it's fully playable if you get the right version. I thought R-Type Command (2/5) might be like a game idea I've had in my head for over a decade now, a blend of 2D sh'mup action and strategy ... but nope. It's pure hex-grid turn-based strategy, just with R-Type ships and monsters. Not sure if relieved or disappointed. Finally there's Star Voyager (1/5) for NES, which I just have no clue about. Trying to be Wing Commander on an NES and failing miserably, I think.
 
1 / 8 / 2013
 
Today we have 300 (1/5) for PSP ... this was gonna be paired with Warriors Orochi, a copy of which I snagged for a couple bucks at the thrift store like 2 months ago ... and that's still now sitting on my "unplayed" pile. Instead please enjoy Chester Field (2/5) for the NES, a swordy adventure in the manner of Faxanadu that actually is about as good as a 2/5 game can be.
 
1 / 6 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Sure, Mega Man tries to play it classy these days ... you should see the slumming he did in the early 90s for his coke money, though!
 
I've been hearing reports over the years that the Game Boy Mega Man games are underappreciated gems ... welp, that was some bad intel, at least on the first two - Mega Man (2/5) and Mega Man 2 (1/5). And then there's Street Fighter x Mega Man (2/5) for PC. Capcom "released" this as a freeware surprise a few weeks ago, to celebrate the outgoing 25th anniversary of Street Fighter and the incoming 25th anniversary of Mega Man. However, it's not an in-house production, but a fan-made game they simply chose to endorse ... and it really plays like a fan-made game.
 
1 / 4 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Boa tarde! No real theme today, other than just two games that are very Japanesey. Katamari Damacy (5/5, PS2) is both the pioneer and still the leader in the "destroying the Earth with a giant suction ball" genre. Steal Princess (2/5, DS) is an unexpected follow-up to the Sega Genesis game Landstalker from like 1991-ish.
 
 
1 / 2 / 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Harpy New Year! I'ma get right on the resolutions by finally doing reviews of the SNES entries of one of my favorite obscure series - Uncharted Waters (3/5) and the sequel, Uncharted Waters: New Horizons (4/5). But wait! There's Moar! Dawn of Discovery (2/5), which is one of those Anno games for the DS that I'm not fond of.
 
 
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