BRAD STALLION IN SEX OLYMPICS / Free Spirit / PC
 
 
By general adventure game standards, Sex Olympics is kind of bad. The graphics are butt-ugly, there's only a few PC internal speaker sounds, the interface is kind of clunky and cumbersome, and the puzzles are amateurish and either too easy or rely on annoying adventure game cliches like forest mazes.

By Brad Stallion standards, however, this game is amazing!

The premise is that the Sex Olympics are going on and Dr. Dildo has entered. With his fiendish sex knowledge he's sure to win, I dunno why that's so bad but Earth's government sure wants to stop it! So they send in Brad to compete against him.
Apparently it's a 2-man Olympics as there seem to be no other competitors. You get a range of planets to go to, and on most of them there's a chick to score with, but you have to solve some puzzles first. Then there's also usually a way to Cockblock Dr. Dildo after you've scored with the chick, messing with the environment somehow so he can't get to the chick.
 

The one neat premise of the game is that Dr. Dildo is moving about as you are, trying to score with the chicks too. I don't think you can actually run into him, but every now and then you can catch him on your ship's radar heading toward a certain planet. If you rush there, bone the chick and then Cockblock him, that gives you a leg up. Actually ... I don't think he ever stops you from getting with any of the chicks he's already done, so I assume if you just Cockblock a couple of chicks and then get all the rest without meeting some random demise, you're sure to win the game! I dunno though, I didn't have the fortitude to sit all the way through this one.

The biggest improvement here is in the backgrounds, though they have an amateurish "MS Paint" look they look leagues better than the confusing vomit that was in Planet of Lust. As far as the girls go, they still pull the same trick of cutting out some scan of a Playboy model or something, then clumsily shooping another girl's head on to it, but at least this time they don't colorize them in weird and disturbing colors (with only a couple of exceptions - there's an ice chick and a mermaid that get the bizarre color treatment.) As far as sound/music there's only a small handful of PC internal speaker bleeps and bloops.

Surprisingly, this game is not only playable, but replayable. It's much larger than the previous games (which literally took like 5 minutes with a walkthrough) and there's several elements of randomization with each new game - some of the key items get randomly distributed, as do Dr. Dildo's batteries (which slow him down if you beat him to them), and the option of solving additional puzzles to Cockblock Dr. Dildo after scoring with each chick adds a layer of depth to the game. The new point-and-click interface is a bit cumbersome but it's a damn sight better than that caveman parser they had in the previous games, as well.

I have to admit I actually found this one a little entertaining. I think it was basically a good premise, the execution could have been a lot better in a lot of ways, but it actually comes off halfway decently in the end. Nice finish Brad Stallion.
 
 
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