ACCELE BRID / Tomy / SNES
 
 
I ... what is even going on here? Accele Brid initially appears to be some giant robo game ... but then you're in this weird racetrack where mostly nothing is happening ... but occasionally enemies appear for you to shoot. After completing the first level the premise becomes clearer ... apparently you were SUPPOSED to be in some Giant Robo Race, but Team Rocket attacked so they could kidnap your trainer and huff her panties or something, and now you have to chase them down through various levels.
 


The game is basically a forward-scrolling rail shooter, except the background is like this weird Mode 7 video clip that just repeats itself every couple of seconds. I guess in the early days of the SNES this seemed like an impressive tech demo? Aside from looking cheap and awful now, it's a sorry attempt to cover horrible gameplay. Enemies just sort of pop in stiffly and randomly in front of you, and you have to stiffly try to jump around and shoot them.
 


Maybe this is like a Rolling Thunder deal where the enemies gradually undress the kidnapped girl more and more between levels. I dunno. I can tell you that it is absolutely zero fun to play, some weird tech demo gone horribly awry.
 
 
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