AMERICAN GLADIATORS / Gametek / NES
 
 
American Gladiators was a thing back in the early '90s, you'd only remember it if you're over 30 or so at this point. Basically it was a game show consisting of a bunch of tricky physical contests, kinda like the Japanese "extreme elimination challenge" type shows. Except in this one, a crew of oiled-up bodybuilders called the Gladiators - only maybe half of whom were previously gay porn stars - actively try to prevent the average schmos from reaching their goals.
 


Five of the show's games are represented - Assault, Human Cannonball, The Wall, Powerball and Joust. I'm not going to bother explaining each in detail because none of them are fun. All of them are clunky, obviously hastily programmed and have janky control. What makes them even more hilarious (and at all tolerable) is that the Gladiators have like no pathing routine at all other than to come straight at you. This is especially great on the Wall, where as long as you get an obstacle between you and them, they'll mindlessly run into it every time and fall to their horrible death.

Basically, just yet another slapdash license game churned out as quickly and on as minimal a budget as possible to cash in on the show while it was still popular. Only redeeming qualities are surprisingly decent music and the hideous death scream of Gladiators as they fall off the platform in Joust.
 
 
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