DOUBLE DRAGON / Technos / Atari 2600
I feel so bad for the poor kids who saved up their pennies or begged their parents for this as a present, only to find it to be absolutely nothing like the arcade or NES games and basically in contention for being the worst video game ever.
Inexplicably, this port was released in 1989 ... three years after the arcade game, over a year after the NES port, and about five years after everyone stopped caring about the Atari 2600. The only thing to identify it as a Double Dragon game, however, is the painful attempt by the 2600 sound chip to honk its way through the arcade title theme at the start of every game, and the first ten seconds or so of the first level music from the arcade repeated over and over and over during the gameplay.
And, oh lawd, the gameplay. Billy and Jimmy look like South Park kids in beanies or something on their way to school, and their enemies seem to be generic pedophiles or something. There only seems to be one button that does anything, making you flail out with a weak punch, and occasionally mixing a random kick in. The enemies get to do those things, but they also get to do some flying charge that I guess is supposed to be a jump kick, and that is basically indefensible.
The first two enemies you encounter are like the last bosses of the game, for all effective purposes. I'm guessing if you somehow get by them, more of the same pop out. No worries, though, as you'll be dead in record time thanks to the completely thoughtless and shitty programming of this one.
* Gameplay Video