HIPPODROME / Data East / Arcade
Hippodrome is a pretty awful fighting game from the pre-Street Fighter 2 era. You play as a sword-wielding barbarian and have to take on eight monsters in a battle arena, in order to become the new King Wencheslas and get some hot princess action or whatever. Your quest for power and pooty is going to be derailed quickly, however, when you find out that the monsters have a tremendous advantage over you, and polishing off even one of them is hideously difficult thanks to shoddy play control, poor collision detection and a rather uninspiring roster of moves for your hapless hero.
If you can manage to win a couple of battles somehow, you get to go to a store where you can purchase somewhat less useless weapons, like an axe. With this you stand a better chance of survival, but really, there is nothing in this game that makes it worth that kind of effort. If you could have played as the monsters in PVP matches this game might have had something going, but apparently that was too much of a programming feat for the time at which it was released. Oh well. Thanks Hippodrome, but you get a hearty "thumbs down" from the Emperor, and may (insert your favorite deity here) have mercy on your soul.
* Gameplay Video