HISTORY OF MARTIAL ARTS, THE / Lolpirates / Arcade

Forget Greek wrestling, Muy Thai or Shaolin kung fu ... apparently all you really need to know about the history of martial arts can be taught to you by a bunch of random American punks who look like hybridized ripoffs of major characters from much more successful fighting game franchises.

When I first played it I suspected it of being a bootleg simply due to the complete lack of music or sound ... turns out it actually is a bootleg, albeit of another really obscure game called Fighter's History by Data East. Apparently this one adds a few new characters cobbled together by mashing sprites of the old characters up ... it certainly doesn't make the play control or collision detection any better, however, as both are among the worst I've ever seen in an arcade game. Another oddity is that you are forced to win two rounds to defeat any computer-controlled fighter, but if they beat you in one round, you lose the match and have to deposit another 25 cents.

Seriously ... bootlegs are like the famous analogy about "copies of copies" never being as sharp as the original. Well, when you start with a game that was at the bottom of the pile to begin with ... guess what you come out with. So the lesson here, enterprising Hong Kong bootleggers, is to only rip off the best in games, I guess. And consign The History of Martial Arts to The History Of Crappy Street Fighter Clones No One Remembers.

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